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Neck Deep

Neck Deep

So...I’ve been going through a thing (or twelve) this semester. As you might have been able to tell, I’ve been very absent from Brisk Ambition. It’s been tough. There are many reasons, but what it comes down to is that I haven’t been inspired and the thought of typing for a long time really disgusts me. I don’t really have much to say about what’s been going on in my life, despite it being a whirlwind of emotions always. I’ve been overwhelmed, overworked, and I’m hashtag o-v-e-r-i-t. But I’m getting better. I didn’t want to get in this rut again, but this is exactly what I was feeling a year ago, so now I’m thinking that spring semester just puts me in a funk.

But I’m here now to tell you something. I did a thing!

I totally saw Neck Deep!

I was at the right place (Disneyland) at the right time (February 17th) and with the right people (my friends) when I heard that Neck Deep was coming to Los Angeles in a week and a half. Here’s the thing. I love Neck Deep. Kali Ma, Growing Pains, Candour, and Crushing Grief were some of my favorite songs to blast in my car on my way to the beach last summer. I hadn’t heard their new album yet, but I had heard that it was great and a few different people recommended that I listen to it. I had never gotten around to it, but that changed.

After I got back from Disneyland, I listened to a few songs from their album, The Peace and the Panic, and I fell in love. I hate to admit that I am in l-o-v-e with the single from the album, but In Bloom is perfection. I closed my laptop and went to bed. Disneyland is exhausting!

I woke up with a few thoughts. One of them was that I had to see how much tickets were, but there were a few things I had to do first. I won’t get completely into it, but February 18th was a very significant day for four reasons. First, it was CPC’s Girl Talk event and I said some words and had some words said about me in front of 600 people. Very cool. Second, Neck Deep. Third, I became single. Fourth, I got my littles. In that order.

Basically, I got back from Girl Talk on a high and asked Allie, my new suitemate, if I should buy a ticket. I didn’t really care what she said, I was going to buy one. So, I did. February 18th, 2018 at 4:52 PM I spent $70.

Then, I jumped up and down for like 30 minutes. Neck Deep! At the Fonda! In a week and a half! I was extra excited because I hadn’t been to the Fonda since Winter Formal my junior year of high school when we announced the 2016 Prom Commissioners. My prom babies! It was meant to be. I showed Katie and Allie pictures of me on the stage that Neck Deep would end up being on. TYJ!

Then, the third thing happened, I went to chapter, told Nicole about everything I had done, and then the fourth thing happened. It was a day and a half.

The next ten days were a very solid mix of emotions. I told one of my friends who was going that I bought a ticket and asked if I could get a ride with him (high), had some long talks (low), crafted for my littles (high), cried (low), went to Cinco for the first time (high), cried again (low), had Big/Little reveal (high), and a few other highs and lows, too. I made a playlist of the setlist and started to listen to Neck Deep for multiple hours a day. After a few days, I knew them all. And then it was Wednesday, February 28th.

Holy shit. I have been to concerts and I have seen bands play live, but this was the greatest. I don’t know what it was, but there was something about screaming and jumping and smiling and laughing and eating that completely uplifted my heart and felt so great. The weeks leading up to February 28th were not fun. There was this force that kept telling me that I shouldn’t be happy and every ounce of me was trying to ignore it, but it was really hard. I’m really glad that the universe aligned and brought me to the Fonda. I missed the checkered floor.

Basically, buying this Neck Deep has taught me a lot. I should be spontaneous more often. I should make decisions for myself and do things that make me happy. I need to stop worrying about others, what they’d think, or how they’ll feel about what I’m doing. I don’t want people in my life that can’t be excited for me. I don’t want people in my life that don’t support me. I don’t want people in my life that would look at this concert and say “so you’re only going because you don’t want to spend time with me?”. I should step outside my comfort zone and not be afraid to “just do stuff”. Doing stuff is fun!

10 Neck Deep highlights:

  1. The setlist was amazing, ending with “Where Do We Go When We Go” seemed weird at first, but it was life changing.

  2. Ben Barlow is beautiful even though I was sad he didn’t have long bleached hair anymore.

  3. We established “slash”, a new term. It’s slang.

  4. I stayed off my phone other than to take 4 pictures, prepping for Guyana. Trying to be present.

  5. B e n. B a r l o w.

  6. I thought Mark Hoppus was there and I’m not kidding when I say that I almost peed my pants.

  7. Confetti! Rainbow confetti!

  8. I went to Denny’s for the first time and it was good! They had gluten-free English muffins, something I’ve never had before. I would do it again.

  9. B! E! N! B! A! R! L! O! W!

  10. Seeing the Fonda again was truly magical. I can’t deny it. I missed that place.

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What I'm Grateful For

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